Short Attention Span Cafe

Sabbatical

2009-09-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

Not that anyone would notice, but I'm going to take a break from the blog.

I blame my short attention span.

Quote of the day

2009-09-11T15:17:00.000-07:00

"Countering the currently fashionable alpha dog “pack theories” of dog training, Horowitz notes that “in the wild, wolf packs consist almost entirely of related or mated animals. They are families, not groups of peers vying for the top spot. . . . Behaviors seen as ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive’ are used not in a scramble for power; they are used to maintain social unity.”

(Cathleen Schine, reviewing the book Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell and Know, by Alexandra Horowitz)

Quote of the day

2009-09-03T19:33:00.000-07:00

"In the beginning, man created God..."

(from a public poster sponsored by an atheist group in Chicago)

Dueling Bus Ads Advance Free Speech

Michael Jackson's still dead, and somebody's in a lot of trouble

2009-08-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

"Propofol is fairly easy for a doctor to acquire, but is never intended for home use, where proper equipment to resuscitate a patient is typically absent, says John F. Dombrowski, director of the American Society of Anesthesiologists. Nor is the drug ever intended to help someone with sleep troubles. "That'd be like me taking chemotherapy because I'm tired of shaving my head," Dombrowski says."

(from today's Washington Post)

Now I can sleep at night knowing I'm not alone in my white-hot hate of the new-age light bulb

2009-08-24T22:40:00.000-07:00

"Although the law does not, strictly speaking, ban the incandescent bulb, it only mandates energy efficiency standards that amount to a ban, the bottom line is that consumers will have to replace the familiar old bulbs with compact fluorescents. And earnest green hype aside, CFLs are not the same. The light they give off is a little bluer, they cost about six times as much (twenty times as much if you want to use a dimmer switch) won’t fit in all existing fixtures, and, let’s face it, look dumb. Oh, and also they contain mercury so are bona fide toxic waste. Not only can’t you recycle them, putting them in the trash is illegal in many places."

(Frank Curmudgeon)

Frank is being added to my short list of heroes for speaking the truth about those crappy, crappy new light bulbs. The reason they use less energy is because they give you LESS LIGHT, genius. And now I find out not only are they toxic and it will be a complete hassle to try to get rid of them (assuming we're interested in taking the legal route), the positive impact they will have on "saving the planet" is next to nothing - a speck, a fraction of a speck. You're skeptical? Check out the details.

What a bunch of assholes. First they took away the most effective nasal spray I ever had to "save the ozone" (screw me and my stuffed sinuses, I can just lie down and die), and now the light bulbs. I think Frank has a good idea; go out and buy as many real light bulbs as possible before we can't get any more and delay, if only by a few years, that time when we'll have to spend the rest of our lives sitting in dimly lit rooms, reminiscing about the olden days when we could actually see something at night (you remember - it was called the 20th century).

I could understand replacing harmful things with more modern things, if the more modern things actually functioned as well as the old ones, but this is not what is happening. It's not an even trade, it's all take-aways, replacing old things that worked well with new things that are inferior, from nasal sprays to light bulbs to who knows what else. And that warm, fuzzy glow from "going green" must be giving you quite a buzz if you don't realize that we are being totally ripped off, for no measurable benefit.

I think I'm going to find a good spot in the house to store some light bulbs.

Stick that in your Mayflower and smoke it

2009-08-22T15:54:00.000-07:00

"Look at him, Joyce said, and when I saw Brian dozing away with this chin on his chest I nodded off while the wives went on with their lamentation about the Irish in general and this day in particular, Alberta saying, Everyone warned me that the Irish are great to go out with but never marry them. I would have defended my race and told her how her Yankee ancestors had nothing to be proud of the way they treated the Irish with those signs everywhere that said, No Irish Need Apply, except that I was weary from the strain of being married by a man with a lisp while I carried Byron's green umbrella and my heavy responsibility as groom and host at Diamond Dan O'Rourke's. If I hadn't slumped with the weariness I would have reminded her how her ancestors hanged women right and left for being witches, how they were a dirty-minded lot, rolling their eyes in shock and horror at the mention of sex, but having a grand time between their thighs listening in court to hysterical Puritan maidens claiming the devil appeared in various forms and frolicked with them in the woods and how they became so devoted to him all decency went out the window. I would have told Alberta how the Irish never carried on like that. In the whole history of Ireland only one witch was hanged and she was probably English and deserved it. And, just to clinch it, I would have told her the first witch to be hanged in New England was Irish and they did it to her because she said her prayers in Latin and wouldn't stop."

(Frank McCourt, in 'Tis)

Now I need a magnifying glass to buy vegetables

2009-08-14T08:22:00.000-07:00

Remember the uproar in the news about genetically modified fruit and vegetables and how people said they should be labeled so we know what we're getting? Apparently, they already are. The little sticker that you peel off and throw away has a number on it; if it's four digits the item was conventionally grown; if it's five digits starting with a 9, it's organic; and if it's five digits starting with an 8, it's genetically modified (oh no, a Frankenpepper!).

So say the sleuths at Cook's Illustrated. I don't know; it all sounds just too easy and straightforward. Not complicated enough, not enough drama. Oh, wait - there's always health care reform!

And I would have liked to be five-seven with green eyes, but that didn't happen either

2009-08-12T22:54:00.000-07:00

"Andy talks about Puerto Ricans all the time. He says they're the only people who know how to live in this goddam tight-ass city, that it's a tragedy the Spaniards didn't sail up the Hudson instead of the goddam Dutch and the goddam limeys. We'd have siestas, man, we'd have color. We wouldn't have The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit."

(Frank McCourt, in 'Tis)

Just trying to get by

2009-08-10T16:40:00.000-07:00

"When the class ends I take the stairs again instead of the elevator but I can't get out the door at the bottom because of the sign that says Fire Exit and warns me if I push anything there will be alarms. I climb back to the sixth floor to take the elevator but that door and the doors on the other floors are locked and there's nothing to do but push the door on the ground floor till the alarm goes off and I'm taken to an office to fill out a form and write a statement as to what I was doing in that place causing alarms to go off.

There's no use making a statement about my troubles with the teacher who mocked me the first week and praised me the second week, so I write that even though I dread elevators I'll take them from this day out. I know this is what they want to hear and I learned from the army it's easier to tell people in offices what they want to hear because if you don't there's always someone higher up who wants you to fill out a longer form."

(Frank McCourt, in 'Tis)

The FDA would call this "off-label use," but I call it old-fashioned ingenuity

2009-08-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

"They were going to kick him out of the army in basic training because his shoulders were so bony he couldn't carry a rifle or a fifty-millimeter machine gun barrel till he saw a picture of a Kotex on a box and a light went on in his head. Jesus. That was it. Slip the Kotex pads under his shirt as a pad on his shoulders and he was ready for anything the army could throw at him. After remembering Rappaport did the same thing I wonder if Kotex knew how they were helping the fighting men of America."

(Frank McCourt, in 'Tis)

Hey everybody, it's fermented berry season!

2009-08-05T21:34:00.000-07:00

Actually, this squirrel acts like this year-round, so I have no idea what motivates him to do this.

Quote of the day

2009-07-29T23:26:00.000-07:00

"Realm of Prosperity explained How Twitter and Facebook Can Hurt Your Career. Actually, the post is a bit unfair. Twitter and Facebook are merely enabling technologies. A person who posts on the internet that they think their boss is an idiot and that they have snuck out of work early because there is so little to do was going to be fired eventually. Social networking just accelerates the process. And isn’t making office work go faster just what computers are for?"

(Frank Curmudgeon, from his latest installment of "Carnival of Personal Finance")

Photo of the day

2009-07-29T19:05:00.001-07:00

(from THEM THANGS)

Quote(s) of the day (tie)

2009-07-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

": I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend’s twin last night…and he didn’t stop me."
": How was it?"
": Fantastic, but that’s not the point."

": i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section."

(from textsfromlastnight.com)

"An expensive library card sold by Amazon"

2009-07-19T09:45:00.000-07:00

Above is my favorite description so far of the Kindle, from a commenter on yet another story about one of the biggest scams ever to come down the pike. I stopped downloading songs from Buy.com because my licenses kept getting "lost," and I will never ever pay for a book that I don't actually own. In this case, it didn't escape people's notice that the books deleted from Kindles by the long arm of Amazon were written by George Orwell.

Just to be fair, I've been a customer of Amazon for a decade, and their music downloads don't bother me with any of that licensing crap, so I'm very happy with the music situation there. But the Kindle is not on my wish list.

Technically made up but not far from the mark pseudo-quote of the day

2009-07-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

SENATOR LINDSEY GRAHAM: Judge, before I read a string of anonymous comments about your temperament problem, I’d like to make you repeat that wise Latina remark again just for the heck of it.

JUDGE SOTOMAYOR: Thank you, Senator, for the opportunity to revisit that matter. I appreciate that the man who once said he’d drown himself if North Carolina went for Obama has a special contribution to make when it comes to the importance of thinking before you speak.

Beautiful. Gail Collins is hilarious today, and really you could just read her column and have a sort of Cliff's Notes version of the hearings.

Those darn dinosaurs are scary even when they're extinct

2009-07-15T07:18:00.001-07:00

(Photo of the day, from RCS)

Babies in buckets

2009-07-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

Why? I don't know, but this is definitely the photo of the day.

Quote of the day

2009-07-08T00:06:00.001-07:00

"The blinding power of subjectivity is a good premise in thinking about anything to do with human beings."

(Daniel Bergner, in an interview about his new book, The Other Side of Desire, at SUNfiltered)

Quote of the day

2009-07-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

"I drew my favorite Michael Jackson cartoon when he was arrested. I had a police line-up, and the little boy/victim is pointing at Jackson saying, "That one;" the others in the line-up are a candy cane, a barber pole and the North Pole. Of course, the "secret" characteristic the kid identified was that Jackson's penis was (allegedly) striped like a barber pole. I thought everyone knew this when I drew the cartoon, but unfortunately it turned out this was a little known bit of color about the King of Pop.

Soon after I drew my Jackson line-up cartoon, I got an e-mail from a couple of middle school kids that went something like this:

"Dear Mr. Cagle, Every week in our Social Studies class, our teacher, Ms. Fuddle, has what we call, "Cartoon Monday." The class votes on an editorial cartoon that we will discuss that day. We voted to discuss your Michael Jackson cartoon in class next Monday, but we don't understand it. Would you please explain it to us? Sincerely, Kid One and Kid Two"

I wrote back:

Dear Kid One and Kid Two, Thank you for choosing my cartoon to discuss. The cartoon refers to Michael Jackson's penis, which is striped like a barber pole …"

And the kids wrote back:

"Dear Mr. Cagle. Thank you for the explanation of your Michael Jackson cartoon. We think this will be our most interesting Cartoon Monday ever."

(Daryl Cagle, political cartoonist, in an opinion piece in the Statesman Journal)

"The jackhammers of progress pound the past into pulp"

2009-07-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

The Vietnam table at Soba, downtown Salem

You think Ho Chi Minh City has a chamber of commerce? I do. On the other hand, you'd think they would have put the kibosh on that final paragraph; that's a little too much honesty and ambivalence for the local booster brigade.

Cherry harvest 2009

2009-07-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

From the 5-in-1 tree, here are 4: Bing, Rainier, Lambert and Montmorency. Number 5 would have been Van, which still doesn't produce much of anything on this tree, even after ten years in the ground. Still not enough Montmorency cherries to fill even one pie, but I can supplement with some Lamberts (who needs Lamberts for eating fresh, anyway, when there are bowls full of perfect Bings and Rainiers?).

And by the way, thank goodness for pesticides, whether it's PC to say so or not. My heart was so broken last year when our entire Bing crop was full of worms I was ready to chop that entire tree down. Enough is enough - buy the damn sprays, follow the directions, do a good wash and rinse on your fruit, and a little piece of summer heaven is sitting in bowls all over your table.

Just out of curiosity, Patrick picked a few cherries off the neighbor's tree across the back alley from us (they do not spray), and every one of them had a worm in it. So, there you go.

Escape from Fogtown

2009-06-25T20:57:00.000-07:00

I saw this picture online today and realized, once again, how much I do not miss the fog in San Francisco. By the time we left there for good, I was starting to think if I heard one more asshole blathering rhapsodically about "our natural air conditioner," I would become violent. Anyway, we got the heck out of there before I ended up with an assault charge, and I'm really happy to be living in a place that has actual seasons, especially summer. Now, if this year's summer would actually show up everything would be really swell.

Universal language

2009-06-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

(Photo from Chagrin, who got it from wonderlandcode831))

This is one of those perfect photos - there's that part of his neck, when you put your mouth there you can feel his pulse beating and he's warm and perfect and smells good, and everything. And the photographer caught this simple thing and made it look very personal and intimate but at the same time anonymous. These two people could be anyone, or everyone.

It's stuff like this that separates true photographers from people who just take naked pictures. Not that there's anything wrong with naked pictures - I'm just saying, there's a higher level and some people know how to get there.

This bird may be little, but it's got some big cojones

2009-06-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

(photo from riotclitshave)

Another quote of the day

2009-06-16T12:33:00.001-07:00

I'm turning over this little piece of cyberspace to "ChrisInCalif," commenting on David Brooks' remarks regarding health care reform; thank you, Chris.

"Mr. Brooks, you are obviously an intelligent man. Therefore, why would you ever say "the liberal way, in which the government takes over the health care system and decides who gets what." I moved to Canada from NJ & lived there for 25 years. Your statement is a GOP, a conservative, a deliberate, fabrication. The government in single-payer systems does *not* decide your medical treatment. In fact, in the early 80's, I worked for a time in the Ontario Ministry of Health. I read files from the '70's ~ cases where people who couldn't get advanced treatment for some complex problems (ie severe brain injury) were transported to the United States for treatment, all paid for by the Ontario Ministry of Health. When I moved to CA in 1994, I heard your same deliberate lies all over the airwaves, as CA debated a proposition for single-payer in California.

Let me clarify: when Canadians get cancer, they don't have to worry that the disease will bankrupt them. They don't stress that they'll be buried under huge bills. They don't worry that they'll be denied treatment. Who exactly, again, decides who gets what? I say to you, sir, there is a place where coverage is restricted: here, in America, by insurance companies who routinely deny claims and treatment. Not in Canada. Not by the Canadian government.

Finally, a problem in Canada is the Americans who sneak across the border and pose as Canadian in order to *steal* the health care that they can't afford here. Can you imagine? Of course, you can't imagine that ~ because you have access to very good health care coverage.

Canadians are paying for their health care system, and even sometimes for Americans. And they spend far less per person than the outrageous waste here. Wake up and at least tell the truth in this discussion."

Quote of the day

2009-06-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

"I wondered if he had made the connection that in our world, the tree falling in the woods didn’t make a sound if you put yourself way out of earshot and thought about something else."

(Brett Paesel, in "Bliss is a Mutual Fund," in the NY Times)

Sunday breakfast

2009-06-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

These are old-fashioned yeast-raised waffles, which I'd never even heard of until Cook's Illustrated magazine set me straight. The waffles are really good, but the best thing about them is that I get to put the batter together the night before (when I'm awake) instead of the morning of the breakfast (when I'm in no mood). And then I get Waffle Man to fire up the machine and do all of the cooking, so my morning is complete.

Anyway, about four of these things with a little butter and syrup, along with the three slices of bacon I had, adds up to only 1000 calories! Which is why we do not have Sunday breakfast every day. Or even every Sunday.

Quote of the day

2009-06-09T23:23:00.000-07:00

"Curious youngsters will find porn online, and attempting to stop them is tilting at windmills. It would be more productive to combat the fact that so many kids' first impressions of sex more resemble jackhammers and squeaking balloon animals than the real thing. We as a culture desperately need to rediscover authentic sexy. Bring back the kiss, and not that horrific tongue-flailing stuff that coked up valley rats managed to patent a couple of decades ago."

(Andrew, owner/curator of Synthetic Pubes)

If you read the entire piece you'll see that he also mentions the phenomenon of teens sending nude photos of themselves to other teens using their cell phones. I have to say I'm concerned about that, not because of legal or moral issues, but I don't think most of these kids have thought ahead to the potential emotional impact of having lost control of their own naked images as they float through cyberspace. Especially after relationships turn bad and end, and those images might be used against them.

Beware the Triminator

2009-06-08T20:52:00.000-07:00

Every evening after dinner we take a walk around the neighborhood, and we have to contract ourselves to single file to get around various hedges and shrubs that have grown out over the sidewalk. I told Patrick I figured out which superhero I would be - THE TRIMINATOR. I would swoop in with my powerful hedge-trimmer arms and clear the sidewalks of every bit of obnoxious plant material preventing two people from walking side by side during their after-dinner stroll.

So watch out all you lazy-ass couch potatoes who refuse to do a bit of simple yard maintenance every once in a while; if you hear the terrifying sound of a slicing and dicing power tool in the middle of the night, stay in your house and watch out for your fingers and toes.

Have a pleasant evening.

I'll keep it in mind

2009-06-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

"I have found a foolproof fall-asleep system, which I discovered while I was in law school. You get Arthur Miller’s 5 cassette tape review of constitutional law, and play one tape every night on a tape player which does the continuous loop thing. Listen with earphones on, and try really hard to concentrate on what Arthur is saying, and try to learn it all. It works like a charm.

I shared this with an 80-something retired merchant marine who was having trouble falling asleep, and he was astonished that it worked. “But how about that International Shoe case,” he asked."

(Jane R, commenting on "Cost-Effective Ways to Fight Insomnia" at NYT)

This kid may be holding the chalk, but I know damn well he didn't draw that picture

2009-06-07T21:31:00.000-07:00

(photo from Tendrebulle)

You can never know too much about testosterone

2009-06-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

This is a great website: "This American Life," a radio podcast by Chicago Public Radio. I think they do a show every week, and from the looks of things they've been at it since at least 1995. I'm always late to everything; just a couple days ago I told Bonnie that I "discovered" Stevie Ray Vaughn about five years after he died. That's the story of my life.

Another experiment down the drain

2009-05-30T08:45:00.000-07:00

I got bored maintaining the Tumblr site, so I'm not going to be family-friendly anymore; everything goes on the blog, whether it's G rated or not. If Blogger ever complains (or even finds me here, for heaven's sake), I'll put up the content warning thingie.

Espalier, Year Two

2009-05-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

Just for the record.

Summer's here

2009-05-29T18:56:00.001-07:00

Let's all be careful out there.

(photo from The Beauty Brains)

Well said

2009-05-29T00:34:00.000-07:00

Debauchette offers a thoughtful comment, from a personal perspective, on a study that caught the attention of the New York Times. I remember reading the Times article and thinking that it all sounded reasonable and even obvious to me, and then I was disappointed by the defensive and hostile responses of most of the commenters.

Quotation

2009-05-27T08:49:00.001-07:00

"She thought the word, Jesus, should be kept inside the church building like other words inside the bedroom. She was a good Christian woman with a large respect for religion, though she did not, of course, believe any of it was true."

(Flannery O'Connor, "Greenleaf," in Everything that Rises Must Converge)

It's past my bedtime, so there will be no clever title for this post

2009-05-23T00:47:00.000-07:00

If you hang in until about the 11 or 12-minute mark of this interesting little presentation, you will see a guy who has one of the worst jobs in the entire world. This is very useful for gaining some perspective on your own lot in life. So cheer up!

Quote of the day

2009-05-22T20:06:00.000-07:00

A Reason to get an iPhone

Just out is Thumbble, an app that will suggest things to do in 27 cities based (partly) on your mood. Unfortunately for me, although “dorky” is a mood choice, “bitter” and “appalled” are not.

(Frank Curmudgeon, at Bad Money Advice)

Mythbusting

2009-05-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

Current episode: Kids, don't stick a candle in your ear (Grandma's not always right).

Welcome to today's episode of "Smart-Ass"

2009-05-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

In which Ian at Marbury picks up an overused metaphor and runs it into the ground, just for us.

No, really, it's culture - it's good for you

2009-05-15T00:51:00.000-07:00

Remember the traveling exhibit of "plastinated" dead people from Germany? Well, there's been an addition to the group, brought to our attention by Em & Lo, and the "laugh of the day" award goes to them just for the title. Oh, those crazy kids today...

Well, duh!!

2009-05-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

Apparently, some people are shocked at the preponderance of adult content at Tumblr. I just assumed that was the primary reason for Tumblr's existence. Silly me.

Quotation

2009-05-10T20:23:00.000-07:00

"...there's no need to worry about using seed meal for fertilizer. Fortunately for us gardeners, to make the meal, the seed is crushed, heated to a high temperature, and combined with a most efficient solvent that dissolves all of the oil. The cottonseed oil thus obtained probably contains virtually all of the pesticide and herbicide residues the cotton plant picked up. Thoroughly stripped of its oil content, the seed meal is now a fairly clean livestock food, sold as a protein supplement. I do consider cottonseed oil a suspect food. Because it is very inexpensive, it is sold in 5-gallon tins to fast food and Asian restaurants for deep-frying and is also extensively used by makers of prepared salad dressings. Think about that the next time you go out to dinner, and read the label on your favorite salad dressing, mayonnaise, or tinned sardines. And ask yourself why, for the purpose of pesticide regulation, cotton is not considered a food crop!"

(Steve Solomon, in Growing Vegetables West of the Cascades)

Some perspective on the swine flu

2009-05-04T13:43:00.000-07:00

“Averages don’t tell you very much,” he said of reproductive numbers. “You could have a student transmitting to 15 others, while the average in Queens is 0.1. It’s like putting Bill Gates down in Ethiopia and saying the country has a pretty high average income.”

But one thing remains true: “People have a very weird perception of large numbers,” he said. “If you have 2,000 cases of flu in a country of 300 million, most people think they’re going to be one of the 2,000, not one of the 299,998,000.”

(Dirk Brockmann, the engineering professor who leads the epidemic-modeling team at the Northwestern Institute on Complex Systems.)

From Predicting Flu with the Aid of George Washington, in the New York Times

Quotation

2009-05-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

"Ninety-nine percent of their baseball 'memories,' ninety-nine percent of the anecdotes and stories they recollect and repeat are pure hogwash, tiny morsels of the truth so coated over with discredited legend and senile malarkey, so impacted, you might say, in the turds of time, as to rival the tales out of ancient mythology. What the aged can do with the past is enough to make your hairs stand on end. But then look at the delusions that ordinary people have about the day before yesterday."

(Philip Roth, in The Great American Novel)

Work of art

2009-05-01T00:41:00.000-07:00

I've already mentioned that I've never been interested in getting a tattoo myself, but my goodness this one is really impressive.

(photo from this website)

Thank you, MCM, that was beautiful

2009-04-27T12:38:00.000-07:00

"As seems to have happened with another formerly closeted and misunderstood community, namely homosexuals, the key objective should be to make non-belief as banal as possible, and thus disassociate it from notions of anti-sociality. Instead of trying to convert, screaming, as some do, about the "idiocy" of believing in God, only to be answered by those screaming about the "depravity" of godlessness, it would do immeasurable good if non-believers simply gained broad acknowledgement that many ordinary people, by a process of sincere introspection, simply do not come to a belief in a God, and thus use other means to reach an understanding of what is in their mind moral and right. Whether they know it or not, the believing majority encounter us non-believers every day, working with us, learning from us, teaching us, even loving us, sometimes without being any the wiser. The more that this information can get out there, the better for everyone."

(from a commenter on "More Atheists Shout it from the Rooftops," at NYT.com)

Quotation

2009-04-27T09:47:00.000-07:00

"What else, I ask you, were all those prohibitive dietary rules and regulations all about to begin with, what else but to give us little Jewish children practice in being repressed? Practice, darling, practice, practice, practice. Inhibition doesn't grow on trees, you know -- takes patience, takes concentration, takes a dedicated and self-sacrificing parent and a hard-working attentive little child to create in only a few years' time a really constrained and tight-ass human being."

(Philip Roth, in Portnoy's Complaint)

Do you ever feel that inanimate objects are speaking to you?

2009-04-26T23:06:00.001-07:00

(from Tendre Bulle)

Warning: If you go to Tendre Bulle, you will see "adult content." Which I usually only put on my tumblelog now so that this blog will be pretty much family-friendly, but this photo was just so cute and harmless I had to put it up here. Also, everything is in French at Tendre Bulle, so if you want to know what the caption is for the cartoon of the woman in the box with the small rodent, it says "It is well-known that mice are afraid of cats" (ha ha). There's also a photo of a woman with a strategic hole in her jeans (reminds me of a story I heard once), and yet another photo of Angelina Jolie, because why not?

Quote of the day

2009-04-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

"Clearly, the lesson from these footnotes is to stay away from bicycles in Florida, as they represent over 1 out of every 7 bicycle related deaths in the United States...."

...from The Odds of Dying, Again!, at Political Calculations

Quote of the day

2009-04-24T00:25:00.000-07:00

"Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”

(Robert Heinlein)

Listen up, here's the medical term of the week

2009-04-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

(from Riotclitshave)

Ever heard of dermatographism? Well, it's gosh darn fascinating, and the artist above (Ariana Page Russell) has certainly made hers work for her. A newspaper in the UK referred to her as the "human Etch-a-Sketch."

Happy Birthday Tully

2009-04-19T23:34:00.000-07:00

Incompetence, or strategy?

2009-04-18T19:48:00.000-07:00

Here is a really interesting comment on the bin Laden problem - has the U.S. truly "failed" at getting rid of him all these years, or are we hoping (and waiting) for someone else to do it for us? If so, it's an elegant theory, which means that Dubya isn't the one who thought of it. Thumbs up to the anonymous unsung heroes at the CIA think tank working on this one.

That's muscle clamp, not cramp

2009-04-17T09:55:00.000-07:00

Today's hero is whoever invented the Muscle Clamp. In a world full of Chia Pets and other useless crap, this wonderful device has allowed me to get rid of a big problem. My barbell set came with the typical spring-type clips, which my little weenie hands will never, ever be strong enough to use. So I've been using the barbell without any securing devices at all. A simple turn of the handle on top of the clamp does the job - as they say, "righty-tighty, lefty-loosy." No more sliding, rattling, clanging plates or wondering just how bad the damage would be if I lost my balance to one side or the other. The cherry on top of this story is that I didn't even have to pay for the clamps because I used Amex reward points; it's a little bit of Christmas in April.

You might be wondering, just how small are her hands - maybe she's just exaggerating. When Molly was ten years old, she got up one Saturday morning, saw my wedding ring on the coffee table, and decided to try it on (the proper finger, of course; she's no dummy). Patrick had to soap up her finger to get the ring off.

Another installment from "Economics for Dummies"

2009-04-14T23:46:00.001-07:00

Actually, it's from Consumerist; it's short, clean and simple - I like it. By the way, if you're feeling insulted right now, I'll point out that by "economics" and "dummies" I'm referring to myself. One of the things I'm getting really good at as I get older is identifying subjects for which I have no natural aptitude at all; this is one of them. A big virtual hug and kiss to everyone who's been feeding me these Sesame-Street level snippets of digestible info on deflation, credit-default swaps, and the whole mess.

"Why is deflation bad? Well, to put it as simply as possible — when prices fall (deflation) it's good for you in the short term, because you can buy a big screen tv for cheaper. But when your boss decides that since he can't sell his widgets for more than it costs to make them (in 6 months when it is time to sell the widgets, prices will have fallen and consumers might still be delaying purchases to see how much cheaper widgets will get) he decides not to invest in new widgets.

You make widgets. You do not have a job, so you watch your big screen tv and cry until the bank takes your house."

Favorite comment exchange of the day

2009-04-14T23:13:00.000-07:00

Nick Salyers @ meneye : Maybe YOU aren't efficient at work...
snowburnt
11:27 AM on Tue Apr 14 2009

@meneye: I can post on this blog and do the work of 5 people at the same time...and I'm still getting ragged on to go faster.
mac-phisto
12:50 PM on Tue Apr 14 2009

@snowburnt: yeah - & i just got a "promotion" to ass. manager. promotion in quotes b/c it comes without the usual perks, such as a pay increase.

yay me!
rockasocky
1:03 PM on Tue Apr 14 2009

@mac-phisto: So are you now managing donkeys or managing, you know, butts?

/immature
The_IT_Crone
1:56 PM on Tue Apr 14 2009

@snowburnt: Now I feel bad, because I was complaining about doing THREE people's jobs.
dragonfire81
9:44 PM on Tue Apr 14 2009

@rockasocky: Hmm, ass manager, sounds like job on an adult film set.
xredgambit
10:45 PM on Tue Apr 14 2009

@The_IT_Crone: I'm evening out the score I do the job of 1/8 a person.

I love my job.

(from Consumerist)

Hey, kids - today I learned a new word

2009-04-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

Lessmeatarianism - I think I could actually do that (and I say this as a person who thinks that a world without bacon would not be a world worth living in). Just less, not none.

Quote of the day

2009-04-13T23:01:00.000-07:00

"Tell me about it...the only time my mom invites me over it's because she needs computer help. She is also one of the most impatient customer's I've ever had to service.

"Why does it take so long to load?"
"You have a lot of stuff set to load on startup...mainly AOL, you really should remove that."
"No, I like AOL"
"If you don't remove it, it won't be fast"
"You should make it fast without removing AOL"

It's like that simpsons where skinner's mom was at the grocery store and told the bagger to put all her groceries in the same bag...but make sure the bag isn't heavy."

(Commenter Snowburnt, at Consumerist)

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

Of course, this is going to make somebody really mad; in my case, I just giggled a little. If you're sensitive, just stick with the lovely colored eggs above.

Absinthe - the review

2009-04-12T13:33:00.001-07:00

I completely forgot to comment on the absinthe, which we've had since Christmas. The big moment, the initial tasting, began on a low note. The first thought that popped into my head when the aroma hit me was "Nyquil." This was not a good sign, and the actual taste of this stuff was only slightly better than the smell; I'd call it Nyquil mixed with anise, competing heavily with each other for dominance. (I did the whole ceremony, with the ice water poured over the sugar cube through the slotted spoon, blah blah).

The aftertaste was actually pleasant, when the Nyquil went away and just the anise sat on the sides of my tongue for whole minutes at a time between sips. That was fairly exotic and not bad at all, but it was still difficult to put up with the aroma and initial taste just to get to the afterglow.

Anyway, we haven't had any more since that first time, but the bottle looks great sitting on the buffet.

Photo of the day

2009-04-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

(from riotclitshave)

The new bridge is open! Go take a walk, it's fun

2009-04-08T19:22:00.000-07:00

Wow

2009-04-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

One of the things I learned from studying history was that every empire, in one way or another, was the cause of its own decline and fall. How embarrassing and sad is it that this nation might fall apart because we literally ate ourselves to death. It's time to set down the Big Gulp and get off the couch once in a while, instead of sitting around whining about Al Qaeda and illegal immigrants. Just a thought.

...to leave the marks of my teeth in all the small farms of your body marked by the x.

2009-04-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

Exactly. Actually, I'll back up and tell the whole story. Here is the original passage:

"Pretendo chegar ao cimo, ultrapassar a velocidade de todos os sons que souberes gritar ou sussurrar, porque ao sussurrar fazes-me gritar e desejar cumprir as promessas de te arrancar os cabelos e deixar as marcas dos meus dentes em todos os sítios do teu corpo marcados pelo x. Nesses x, alguém que não existe deixou-me as pistas para te magoar com a doçura de uma violência decidida a dois sem assinar contrato nem aperto de mão."

And here's the frustratingly inadequate and incomplete translation from Babelfish:

" I intend to arrive at the top of a mountain, to exceed the speed of all the sounds that to know to cry out or to whisper, because when whispering you make me to cry out and to desire to fulfill to the promises to pull out you the hair and to leave the marks of my teeth in all the small farms of your body marked by the x. In this x, somebody that does not exist it left me the tracks you to magoar with the doçura of a determined violence the two without signing contract nor squeeze of mão."

I really wish I understood Portuguese: Acesso Restrito posts some interesting stuff and I can only enjoy the photos. I have studied a little bit of intro Spanish and a Berlitz tape of Portuguese, and honestly Portuguese was more fun to speak. I still remember how to ask "Which bus should we take?" - not that I would understand the answer.

Apparently Southwest Airlines is just a big pile of fun!

2009-04-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

The most patient, most excellent dog ever

2009-04-04T00:37:00.001-07:00

(From riotclitshave)

Notice the detailed work on the face? That dog has been lying there for a while.

The sound you hear is my head banging against the wall, in despair

2009-04-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

slightly smaller than oregon

Toby Harnden has details of the briefing pack on Britain and all things British put together by the US State department for American journalists:

The United Kingdom, we are told, is "slightly smaller than Oregon". As for the the British climate, it is "generally mild and temperate" and "subject to frequent changes but few extremes of temperature". A "group of islands close to continental Europe", Britain has been "subject to many invasions and migrations".

(From Marbury)

Wow. By the time someone gets to be a "journalist," shouldn't they already know all that stuff, and so much more? A "group of islands close to contintental Europe" - really? Seriously? How about some geography, and maybe a little history ("subject to many invasions and migrations"), to go along with your "journalism" courses? I guess it's too much to ask.

Comment of the day

2009-03-27T19:33:00.000-07:00

"The assistant fire marshal then proceeded to remove all the R-rated DVDs from the store, replaced the "barely there" thongs with "hipster brief" three-packs and applied black tape over the dog private areas on all the 50lb bags of Dog Chow."

(Graverobber, commenting on "Odd: Shopper Arrested for Saying 'The F Word' at Wal-Mart" at Consumerist)

Fun with time-lapsing: 4 hours of baby in 2 minutes and 39 seconds

2009-03-26T21:13:00.000-07:00

I bet this kid's parents never have to dust mop, because I don't think he missed an inch of floor space.

Hey! Here's some useful advice from the Internet

2009-03-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

Got kids or grandkids? Use the "wet method" to check them for head lice.

Everyone's a comedian

2009-03-25T20:37:00.000-07:00

From riotclitshave

Quote of the day

2009-03-21T23:34:00.000-07:00

"When my roommates aren't around, I look through their cameras and delete the pictures I look bad in."

(Anonymous, at PostSecret)

This is so unbelievably stupid, I'm speechless

2009-03-19T00:58:00.000-07:00

An ode to the eargasm

2009-03-18T00:34:00.000-07:00

"Dear Unilever Home and Personal Care company,

I am applying for a position in your marketing department, because right now you are employing idiots. Putting a Q-Tip into the ear canal may damage your ear drum, but it will also be the most intense, pleasurable sensation of your morning. Why isn’t that on your warning? Why don’t cigarette packages say, “Warning: smoking kills you eventually, but in the meantime it tastes great and keeps you thin.”

Don’t put Q-Tips in your ears. Why? Because it isn’t safe? People do it anyway. You know it and I know it. They jam your product in there because it is an insane, intense pleasure. They can touch a part of themselves that is never touched, and there is no feeling quite like it. It is one of the small joys of my day, and you should be selling that."

(Joey Comeau)

Comment of the day

2009-03-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

"Dear Mr. Brooks,

Thank you for this piece. I have never read an essay that more cogently and brilliantly explains why I am not a Republican.

You speak of America's irrepressible drive, blinding ambition, and rapacious quest for commercial success with the same loving devotion that most people reserve for a child or spouse. You imply that Europe is a place of dreamlessness and stagnation, and America is a place where happiness falls in dollar bills from the orchard of industry.

When did Europe become the poor step-child? Did it not give us Mozart, Shakespeare, and Michelangelo; the most superb museums and cathedrals in the world; a love of great music, literature, and art; a taste of the sublime? Are these to be vilified next to the billboards, junk food, trash television, raucous music, ugly cities, and vulgar language that now festoon our nation? Is Europe's love for the savoir vivre so distasteful? Is its concern for the health and education of its citizens so mundane?

When we recover from our debilitating malaise, Mr. Brooks, should we return to our former greatness, producing bigger houses, bigger cars, and more objects to fill them, consigning ourselves to an ever-churning, insatiable obsolescence?

What happened, Mr. Brooks, to the conservatism that once treasured family, love, beauty, and virtue? Were they just a veneer, hiding from us the great gifts of production?

I hope your America never returns. This country, at its heart, is a wonderful nation – for so many reasons that you fail to mention and may not fathom. And none of those reasons are commercial in their provenance."

(Steve Blevins, from Oklahoma City, commenting on today's David Brooks column in the New York Times)

The funniest thing so far today

2009-03-16T19:44:00.001-07:00

Please, Jeffrey, don't stress out the people at the post office - you know how they can get.

The Hoover

2009-03-15T12:54:00.000-07:00

Tully

What a handsome dog.

Little Napoleon

2009-03-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

Tinker

It's fun to grow carrots

2009-03-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

Overwintered carrots

Carrots don't let you down, unlike some other vegetables.

Quote of the day

2009-03-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

"I have a friend who happens to be a pilot, and he once said to me: 'If you wouldn't throw it off the roof of your house, don't check it.' So, besides theft, there are other reasons not to check anything of value in your bags."

(Tony Bologna, commenting at Consumerist)

I've told people for years never to pack anything that they're not willing to lose in their suitcases (mere breakage is another matter, a calculated risk). A friend of ours (he knows who he is) advised us just to go out and get those TSA-approved locks for our suitcases, so I got a couple for our trip to Grand Cayman last October, just as a test (we still didn't put anything valuable in the luggage). When we got our suitcases back, mine had been unlocked and the lock had been replaced (unlocked) on one of the zipper tabs (thanks a lot). Patrick's suitcase looked like it had been kicked around a dusty field a couple dozen times, and the lock was TOTALLY MISSING.

I remain mystified that our friend appears to have some travel-related fairy godmother who looks over his luggage when it's out of his sight, and I don't know why or how he gets away with it, but I will say it one more time: DO NOT PUT ANYTHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO LOSE IN YOUR SUITCASE. If the loss of said item would make you cry, get drunk, and then possibly jump off the roof of your three-star hotel, don't check it at the baggage counter. If it's too big for your carry-on, leave it home. If you can't live without it, don't go.

By the way, it was a Yale student who actually put his XBOX in his suitcase; so much for the Ivy League crowd being a cut above the rest.

Like I said

2009-03-06T23:25:00.000-08:00

I have a vague memory of discussing this topic with someone recently...

Please do not attempt any of this at home

2009-03-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

Here is a website devoted entirely to photos and descriptions of the most disgusting, unhealthy foods people can think up. I felt a little dizzy just looking at this stuff. Actually, I should admit that I was almost drawn to the breakfast waffle sandwich, except for the blueberries in the waffles (don't interrupt my festival of cholesterol with fruit, it just doesn't work for me).

Oh, that crazy ice cream humor

2009-03-05T00:08:00.000-08:00

"One of our competitors (think funny sounding European name) recently announced they will be downsizing their pints from 16 to 14 ounces to cover increased ingredient & manufacturing costs and help improve their bottom line. At Ben & Jerry's we think downsizing pints is downright wrong. We understand that in today's hard economic times businesses are feeling the pinch. We also understand that many of you are also feeling the same, & think now more than ever you deserve your full pint of ice cream.

We are even more committed today to lead with our values through the quality of our ingredients & how we source them to make the best ice cream possible. So, while our competitor may be experiencing a bit of shrinkage, rest assured that your Ben & Jerry's will still be standing tall in the freezer. Enjoy!"
(Statement released by Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, posted at Consumerist)
I know it was really, really subtle, but did you notice the bit of double entendre in the second paragraph? Do you think that the highest level of corporate muckety-mucks at Unilever actually approved the release of that statement, or does the gang at the Ben & Jerry's sub-subdivision sit around smoking the "herbal cigarettes" while composing e-mail?

Quote of the day

2009-03-03T21:03:00.000-08:00

"Yeah, she ate the ring. This is the exact thing that I picture happening whenever people try to replicate jewelry commercial proposals. If anyone ever wants to marry me, they should just ask. Don't hide anything in my food."

(Meg Marco, at Consumerist)

Science has finally explained my hot tub paradox

2009-03-03T09:18:00.000-08:00

There's an interesting article in the NY Times about research showing that people's enjoyment of something is actually enhanced by occasional interruptions. They used TV commercials as their prime example, guaranteeing an element of controversy and more attention as the story gets around. I won't be retiring the DVR anytime soon (I'm so tired of mattress commercials I could hurt somebody), but I can see the validity of the concept in general.

It's notable that the author mentioned hot tubs. When I started going to the hot tub places with Patrick, right from the beginning I developed a habit of working my way into the tub, staying in for just a few minutes, then getting out and sitting out in the air until I got cold again. It was never the being in the hot tub that was the fun part, it was the getting in, the fantastic feeling of getting warmed up after being so cold. So I just recreated the getting-in experience over and over again. The very best place was Sycamore Springs near San Luis Obispo, because the tubs were outside (an excellent place to get really cold, especially if you're wet).

The article also mentioned flow; the book Flow was one of my favorite ever (I still have my copy). If you don't want to read the book and you already know what flow is, I can give you the wrap-up; flow activities are exceptions to the above rule - NEVER interrupt someone in the middle of a flow activity unless you want to ruin their good time (you meanie).

10 ways to ruin a job interview

2009-03-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

It's really hard to believe people would do number 1, 8 or 10, but the author spent a couple decades interviewing job applicants, so I guess she would know.

Want to test your Internet connection?

2009-02-28T16:28:00.000-08:00

Apparently we're getting what we're paying for, which is what I wanted to know. Try it yourself.

My people

2009-02-23T18:44:00.000-08:00

"The Internet is the perfect medium for introverts. You could almost call it the Intronet. You know the old New Yorker cartoon with a dog sitting at a computer saying to another dog, 'On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog.' Well, on the Internet, no one knows you're an introvert."

(David Rauch, in an interview for The Atlantic regarding his previously published essay on introverts)

"We love people—we're not misanthropic for the most part. We just can't socialize with them all the time. We want to hold their hand or hug them or just sit quietly and read a book with them."

Indoors, you can make spring come early

2009-02-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

These are prunings from the flowering quince that I forced to bloom in the house (no, I'm not being violent - "forced" is an actual gardening term - really).

That groundhog is not the boss of me.

Test part 2

2009-02-22T14:53:00.001-08:00

Nori resized to 15 percent; this might be the winner. If you click on the photo, you can see an enlarged version, but it's not so big that you have to scroll around to see the whole thing.

If you found this whole project really boring, I apologize, but I feel pretty darn good about this experiment and now I have a baseline number to work with.

What's weird is that I still find the Microsoft Picture Manager more useful and relevant to my needs than the brand new, feature-filled software that came with the camera (Canon). Go figure.

This is a test

2009-02-22T14:44:00.000-08:00

Three different photos, resized using Microsoft Office Picture Manager: 20 percent of original (182 kb), 10 percent (51.4 kb), and "compressed" for Internet (15.7 kb).

I'm just happy I've never actually seen any of this stuff

2009-02-17T20:40:00.000-08:00

Hilarious.

Wow: Post of the day

2009-02-17T19:59:00.000-08:00

This one's so good, I put it in a brand new Bookmarks folder called Keepers.

Quote of the day

2009-02-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

"Vitamins in the body are like nails in a house. Without nails in all the right places, the house will fall down. However, once the requisite number of nails is in place, adding more nails will not improve the stability of the house. More nails will either do nothing, or in large enough amounts, will actually reduce stability."

(Amy Tuteur, MD, commenting at the NY Times "Well" blog)

One of the best analogies I've seen trying to explain why more is not better than enough, in the endless debate on the value of supplements.

"When you care enough to hit Send"

2009-02-11T23:17:00.000-08:00

This is fabulous.

What a maroon

2009-02-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

Here's a story with a sequel: Remember the one about the pizza restaurant owner in Florida who actually pistol whipped and beat a customer for complaining about the quality of his calzone? Well, it turns out that Anger Boy has been selling pizzas and sub-par calzones under a fake name because he's a former mob hit man in the witness protection program.

Way to keep a low profile, Joey!

Famous last words

2009-02-06T20:52:00.001-08:00

The story goes that as Oscar Wilde lay dying in a hotel room in Paris, his last words were "Either this wallpaper goes or I do." I wonder if it looked anything like this. Unfortunately, no one in this picture is naked enough to distract us from the horrid spectacle behind them.

Thanks to Chagrin for the photo.